http://www.ctcandlesnstuff.com/robfried.html
This site takes you to archived expressions of remembrance, linked out by a former Max Creek roadie and set-up man for Rob,Steve Goodusky.

An article written by Chris Cowles--

http://insomniacathon.com/RFRem01.html

An article written by John J Wood--

http://www.jambands.com/Features/content_2006_09_20.06.phtml

Some of the things I remember about Rob are to personal, some are to painful, plus there are so many things I remember that to try to sum them up in a small paragraph would be to darn tuff. So , I'll speak on something that happened 2 days ago. Saturday was the one year mark since Rob died. My 2 1/2 year old little girl (my wife was working) and I went to Rob's grave to put down some roses and say a little something. When we arrived my daughter immediately started to climb on the Fried head stone as if it was a jungle gym. My first impulse was to get her down and hold her hand until we left so she wouldn't do it again. When I walked around to the other side of the headstone where she was climbing, I felt a very strong cool breeze, and if you remember how hot and humid it was on Saturday you'll know that a cool breeze was about as rare on that day as a snowflake. Now I realize that that breeze may not have been Rob trying to talk to me or him saying "it's cool man, let her climb", but whatever it was made me realize that Rob would have loved that my little was finding joy in climbing on that headstone and that in fact, I should let her go for it and have fun. Whatever it was in that cool breeze made me realize that it's not always about grief and sadness and that if joy can be found in times of sadness...why surpress it. Whatever it was I could feel Rob at that moment and I think he was delighted that Ava was happy. I miss and love you my friend and I will never forget you. Cool breezes Rob.

Dave

This site is a great idea and reading what I have so far brought back great memories of Rob. I remember at CampC riding around in a golf cart that Rob was driving and we were both pretty drunk, had red wine spilling all over myself from Rob hitting bumps etc. Rob was having a ball driving that cart like it was an ATV. That night Rob told me a story about how he came upon what he called "Goat Toenails" (hooves I guess) that he used as a percussion instrument that I was checking out prior to their sets that night. Looking at his instruments on stage never ceased to amaze me. The little 5 & dime toys he had, little doodads of all kinds, some kind of freaky (like the goat toenails all tied together) and other things that you would find common in most homes (or garages hehehe) , just a really odd assortment to see in this venue. The thing is in Robs hands these things would add another layer to the music and Rob would pick these little things up and shake them, wiggle them, smack them or some other action at just the right moment. I think this was the night when Rob told me while we were talking about these things that "Music is everywhere and music is in everything, all you have to do is listen.

The first time I saw Max Creek was in Providence RI when I was a sophomore in college. We got there early, but Rob's kit was already set up. Having been obsessed with percussion for some time, I said, "I wanna marry the guy with those drums!" Ahhh, youthful inthusiasm. I remember dancing in front of Rob in my hippie chick sundress while he totally jammed out. He got me totally addicted to his groove, and was a really cool cat to meet and chat with. We struck up a friendship over the next couple years, and I spent many weekends out at his place in CT. I remember him bringing me a big bowl of chocolate ice cream with maple syrup on it, taking me out for Italian food, and casually chatting in the hot tub. No pressure, no worries. A really kind and respectful fellow. He actually died on my wedding day, some ten years after I'd met him, but I didn't know about his death until today, as I've long since drifted from that scene. But I must say I feel a loss. And there have been many day when I've longed to spin and twirl to those drums, and to feel just so totally young and carefree again. Rob is a part of my ultamite college memories, and will always have a place in my heart.

God bless you on this holiday, Rob, as you always gently reminded me how important it was to have gratitude for all things in this life.
We shall play again one day, my friend.

Merry Christmas my friend, I love you.

I was talking to one of Rob's best friends a week ago or so, (Zip) and I said to him that I catch myself saying "I haven't heard from Rob in a while..." and then I realize that I just have a hard time about Rob not being with us. It makes my really sad, but I know that he's in a good place, and I hope to see him again someday. I love you, Rob.

I consider Rob to be one of the greatest percussionists ever. I still remember that fateful January night that I finally got to see Max Creek. I arrived a little early and was drawn to the smoke-enshrouded stage. Rob's percussion setup enthralled me. I couldn't wait to see him play all of these cool toys! Well, the show blew me away and Max Creek has been a constant in my life ever since.

I did get a chance to speak with him on one occasion, at Deadhead Heaven in '96. I was behind him in line for the bathrooms, and I struck up a conversation. I couldn't resist. He told me he remebered seeing me at a number of shows, which made me feel awesome. He was sincere and took the time to talk to me. I'll never forget it.

Love and miss you Rob.

Hello my friend..Recently I had a particularly nasty flu, in fact, about the worst I have ever felt, very weak, very vulnerable and awware of my mortality as a human being. I thought of you in the last painful year of your life, and the brave battle you waged against your baffling illness.
I'm just glad that you're in a better place and
at peace...not a day goes by that you aren't in my thoughts.
Much love,
Zip

Happy Easter brother. Miss you.

Dear Brother It seems like yesterday .....I was at your house we were having tea ...and getting ready for the readings in the sun room!!!I miss you dearly....I remember when we were in california and that show at mill valley when that comet was in the sky!!!
Rob I miss you!! that poems I still am baffeled....I wish I could share with you this book I recived right after you passed

for you would help me to understand it...so many things have happened since you have been gone on a spiritual level I can barly put into words and I wish I could pick up the phone and here your voice and share with you this stuff....the book is a book of poems and it came from the otherside.....every page is like a chapter of my life

I remember when we firt officially met in this lifetime at norwalk conn....the globe theater

I remember sleeping at your house and having that awsome crystal water and rice...
andy griffin
I miss you
i remember the sighn you made me for the eastover festival..Palm readings...
I remember the money you would loan me when I lived in that Goddess forsaken town Houlton Maine

you always told me to get out of there
I remember following you and rider home after you would play all night

and most of all I remember your kind gentle spirit that so many other people did not truly understand ...and the ones that did were your friends..
I love you and miss you My brother and friend!!!
Old friends shine like diamonds

Keep shinning that Gypsy soul!!LOVE YOU
Jason

I swear I could feel your spirit at Eastover this year. I miss and love you very much.

I'm getting it, Rob. Everything you taught me and all that we shared. It is filling the place in my heart that I thought would stay empty forever.
I miss you. I love you.
My smile still shines like 1,000 suns and moons for you...

Wow. I just found out. Old aquaintance of Rob's from Pass The Hat days... managed to check in with him at a Creek show every few years since 1980... due to catch up with him this year, last spent time with him at CC in 2002... I am very sad. I'll miss his hug.

Rob- miss you. If it were not for jason Freidus- I would never had the privilege to meet you and watch you play--hope you are resting peacefully...

Why am I thinking of you tonight on the eve of my little son's first birthday? Why am I remembering sitting out on your suspended deck, dangling my feet over the leaves, so young, so carefree? I can still smell garlic in your kitchen as we got drunk making dinner. I remember talking to you late into the night, on the phone, in my dormroom, you telling me the story of Gato. I remember calling you up, and you saying, come on over, we've got unfinished business. Unfinished business. . .

As a Creek fan & attendee of the shows, I was in awe of the monster percussion rig & many sounds/colors/textures Rob produced – I loved it. Then, as a Creek drummer – it was a bit different. When I first joined the band I was young, a bit egotistical & VERY influenced by progressive rock; hence… I overplayed. I knew this frustrated Rob but I didn’t necessarily know HOW to play otherwise back then. But Rob would always encourage me saying “listen to Ringo man… or listen to Russ Kunkle, Steve Gadd – that’s the shit right there!” After I left the band in 96 & began studying drums again, I came to find that he was 100% right – “that” (i.e. the simple steady musical groove) is the shit & is what a drummer should be lending to the band/the tune – NOT a whole bunch of flashy chops.

I was thrilled to get a chance to play with the band & Rob again in 2002 as I came back with a whole different set of ears. I wanted to lock in with Rider & Rob & not get in their way. I’d like to think that I/We achieved that. The vibe between us was great – we just played off each other having a great time & always making sure we were holding down the groove.

One of my fonder memories that I don’t think I’ll ever forget is we played the Living Room one night & we played Backstreet Woman. I felt like I was “in the zone” on that tune by laying down a nice “Boom-Chick” groove the whole way through allowing all the other band members to rip it up. We finished up the tune & I turned to my right & Rob had this big smile on his face. He then looked at me & slid his left hand smoothly & deeply into his jeans pocket & laughed… no words exchanged at all. His motions to me meant that the Groove was right where it should be … “In the Pocket”

Thank you Rob for helping me become a better musician overall & as a drummer – how to be IN THE POCKET! Still miss you brother.

It was 2 years ago today that you died and it still stings as though I just heard the news. I miss you very my my brother. I think about you every day and I love you so much.

Rob, miss you my brother... I learned from you, generosity, hugeness of heart... and your constant gift of music... may the four winds blow you safely home.

Soooooooo many great memories captured on tape, 4 their was and will never be anyone 2 capture the art of percussion such as Rob did...!.....I remember eating Thia food next door 2 the Paradise with a friend and Rob,we were enjoying a pleasent conversation when the waiter came,and well,i was dumbfounded,Rob spoke up and ordered me "veggie pad thia and peanut sauce".....seems minor but it was my first experience of
spending tyme with the MAN behind the kit.....He is embedded in my memory 4 i saw him ev'ry Wednesday nite 4 quite a while.....EVERY time i listen 2 a show,i smile when Rob chimes in!....

Today is election day. I think you would have been fired up and excited about Barack Obama. I wish you could be here to see this historic day. Miss you

jason email me elsie.travaglini@us.ngrid.com

Happy Thanksgiving brother. I love you.

I remember Rob standing by the door as I came in to Husky Blues back when Creek did its office party there . He'd have an arm full of ties and ask you if you needed one....I think I have two of them from him in my closet. Fun times.

Merry Christmas Rob Fried...my brother. I love you. I saw Joe t'day. We talked about you.

Sunday was Bella's first birthday.

One of the first bands I ever sang with [Gettin' Even] had Rob as it's drummer. 1979-1980. Rob was inspirational in his ego-less-ness as a musician. He was extra-ordinary in his open hearted-ness and lots of fun on stage! I performed with him for maybe a year or so but would bump into him from time to time till I moved out of Ct 4yrs ago. My partner and I own Skinny Beats Drum Shop in Asheville, NC and recently acquired a pair of vintage Sol Percussion Congas. We were at a loss as to who might have any info on them and then I remembered Rob being quite an expert when it came to vintage drums. He was always great source of information and interesting stories that seemed to accompany the drums he owned. Anyway, I lost touch with him after I had moved and never learned of his passing till I looked him up today. I am so grateful for this website and for the chance to share a little about my experience with Rob and how much I appreciated his generous and loving spirit in the world. He was music!

Ava turned 4 yesterday. I have a picture on my desk at work of you holding her 5 days after she was born. I miss you.

The ring of yours that I wear is starting to turn my finger green.

Missing you

Happy Birthday my brother. I miss you so damn much. I think of you every day. I wish I could talk to you again and tell you how much I love you.

Dave Del Guidice, Zip..........and everyone else that has left a comment here, please email me ! I am planning a cookout/Birthday/celebration for our friend Rob at my house. So bring your guitar, drums !!! And we will share alot of HAPPY memories about Rob ! Music, food and happiness thats what Rob would want ! No more tears , no more sorrow...Rob would not want that. He is at peace now, with no more pain or suffering and his spirit remains with each and every one of his good friends as he continues to play that conga drum !!! So email me ! I am planning to set a date for August. My email hanorah06@yahoo.com
Love to you all,
Sherry

Now there back.

every once in a while, i google rob's name for some answers. i can't believe this site didn't pop up when i initially looked, b/c it's hidden.

anyway, started going to creek in '92 and became a percussionist in 96. rob is where the eyes and rhythm led. we would chat shop as much as possible, different rhythms, trade world musicians' albums. at the webster in 99, he said he was reskinning his congas and would i like to buy them cheap. alas, it never happened, but they sounded amazing!

when i put together those two festivals in danbury in 99 and 00, rob's rhythm shop attended and he was the most gracious in thanking me for the late night coffee in hospitality and how hard it was to do what we did with that large a crowd.

one time at the living room in 00, it was setbreak and i was hooking up with a lady from pawcatuck. we were making out and sitting on allshouse's bumper and then scott came out to get something from his car and we got up. he opened the hatch and we climbed in and fake kissed and humped and thanked scott. just outside and in full view, we heard his raucous laughter. that was it.

then when i gave my car away in 2001 (still car free, all bike to this day), my 50+ creeks a year dwindled to a handful.

it was late summer 2005? when i last saw rob as i hadn't seen creek in a year. i was biking by the danbury green, where i live near and heard some music and as i rode past the rear flap, so the rig. so i stopped to listen and it was glenn, his wife, rob and spaghetti cake. (yum). it was a kid's show, with parents. it was good. afterwards i went around back and he was so happy to see me (see anyone!, damn kids). SHOE! how the hell are you? hadn't seen glenn in a bit, since the last time i slept over mike tierney's house. so i helped him pack up like i did a few times in the past (mostly out of curiosity and niceness, which helped me with my current rig).

but i noticed that he looked a little different, a little sick and he looked like he aged too quickly since a year ago, almost scarily. i didn't say anything. then i found he had passed and it hurt.

2 summers ago i got the exact location in the cemetery where he was and the lady on the phone of course knew who he was, geez, it's a small town, of course. up on the hill, near the water fountain, i laid a note and brought my drumsticks. i played a rhythm on his stone for 15 minutes. i hope he was playing back.

wow, i was just remembering something else and hopefully that will be it for a bit.

camp creek 99, i was with a friend waiting to get in on friday nite at 2am and it was a long line so we started to drink. i had a reflective vest for mischievous reasons and these youngsters thought they could buy tix from them, i started to fake it and then let them in on the joke.

then i saw rob on a golf cart and he got out and walked around the entrance. i went up to him and said, "excuse me sir, may i see your ticket?" he was startled and then fumbled for id and i said, "hi rob." he gave me that shame shame look and said, "dave, you should know better, thanx for keeping me on my feet."

then i was remembering the 01 cc. the drums were insane. scott a solos, then rob and then together they made magic. i remember as soon as allshouse hit the last snare beat, he fumbled to his feet and ran off the riser toward rob and they met in the center and embraced the drums within them like they hadn't seen each other in years.

Rob went to the house to visit the Fam and to see the new addition to the fam,AJ came out with your Hat and said Dad I have been saving this for you!!
been on my mind and heart allot and so many things to say but most of all I miss you
your brother and Friend Jason

Miss you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEOgPp8jox0

I'll miss our late night drink together on Thankgiving. I think of you every day.

Rob..
as always, down to CT to see my family over the holiday, which always included a swing by your place.
Miss you everyday my friend, but especially this time of year.

Merry Christmas brother. I'm keeping up with our Christmas night drink together. Sept I'm playing your role this time. I love you so much.

Seeing Max Creek with Rob on drums at The Living Room in the late 80's will always be etched in my memory as "The Best of Times" Here's to you Rob!

I met Rob in 1978 at Mad Murphys And all his gear was stuffed over in the corner, And Dire Straits Had just come out with "the sultans of swing" Rob Hated the line " Banging on those bongs like a chimpaneze" I think in part from the way he looked when he really got into it! Miss your music and my friend Love WILD

rob!

I just wanted to let you know I am still missing you. To thank you for your many kindnesses, your friendship. Happy Birthday to you Rob and Gary..I know I am a day early. Peace & Love.

thinking of you its that time when you really come around,must be the birthday camp creek thing!! Miss you!!